Case Study: Mary and Clive
Mary and Clive had looked forward to Clive's early retirement and had been excited by the plans they had made. But shortly after he left work his widowed mother developed dementia and needed a great deal of support. Gradually all their plans evaporated as Clive felt he should do more and more for his mum. Mary and Clive began to have huge rows about this as Mary now felt second best and that Clive must be happy to put their plans to one side. By the time they came to Relate Mary was distraught and had considered moving out 'so that Clive could be with his mother all the time'
Working with their counsellor helped Mary and Clive to explore how they could re establish being a retired couple and nurture their own relationship whilst acknowledging that Clive felt responsible for his mum. They explored the possible impact of a number of options and eventually decided on a course of action which felt comfortable for them both.