Valentine’s Dating Tips
Dating Tips for Valentine’s Day
This Valentine’s Day, Relate, the UK’s largest provider of relationship counselling, reveals its top tips for daters in the North Hampshire area.
According to a Valentine’s Day poll by Relate, a sense of humour is the most important quality in a romantic partner and being humourless (38%) or talking continually about themselves (29%) are the two biggest turn-offs on a date. Perhaps surprisingly, being late (4%) and bad dress sense (7%) were only seen as a deal-breaker for just a few daters.
The www.relate.org.uk survey was completed by over 400 people and also revealed:
• 61% think the internet has not made dating easier
• 43% say a great sense of humour and 34% intelligent conversation would be the biggest turn-on in a partner
• 72% said personal recommendations (rather than the internet or soulmates columns) would be where they would look for a long-term partner
• 70% rate companionship as their highest aim in a relationship with financial security ranking as the least important at 3%.
Evelyn Askew, Manager of Relate Basingstoke said “Dating can be daunting especially if you are looking for a serious relationship. Reassuringly this Relate research shows, there isn’t any mystery to what people look for in a partner and relaxing and being yourself is likely to be the best thing you can do.”
Barbara Bloomfield, Relate counsellor and author of The Relate Guide to Finding Love, who spent a year researching successful relationships, said:
“This poll confirms my research that kindness, intelligence, warmth and humour are what we look for in a partner, rather than fabulous looks or wealth. And, of course, relationships built on deeper qualities have more chance of lasting.
“Valentine’s Day can add to the pressure of dating. However the most important thing is to be yourself and have fun. None of this is rocket science but when you get nervous or worried it can be hard to relax and show yourself at your best. The best mindset for going into a new date is ‘I might make a new friend today.’”
Barbara’s top six tips for successful dating:
1. Try being a little daring (but safe) this Valentine’s Day and ask someone nice out for a cup of coffee.
2. Don’t stress about finding ‘the one,’ concentrate instead on making new friends, being friendly and curious and improving your social skills.
3. If you are trying soulmates or internet dating for the first time, contact and meet several people initially, rather than pinning all your hopes on one contact.
4. Don’t judge others too quickly. We tend to over-protect ourselves and write off potential dates who are too short, tall, fat or thin but my research suggests that, once you have become more at home with dating, someone who is a ‘No’ now, may become a ‘Yes’ later.
5. On a first date, talk about your hobbies and life in an up-beat way and never, EVER commit the cardinal sin and talk about why your last relationship failed!
6. If you don’t fancy the piranha-pond of internet chat sites (which can be brutal at times), try a chat room based on one of your hobbies, such as dancing, sport, or art. You will be sure to meet like-minded people who share your passions and interests.
Relate supports 150,000 people each year in over 600 locations in England, Wales and Northern Ireland
Notes:
• Relate poll conducting on www.relate.org.uk from Nov 2009 to Feb 2010. Results based on 424 respondents.
• The Relate Guide to Finding Love by Barbara Bloomfield is published by Vermilion, £9.99
• Relate supports 150,000 people each year in over 600 locations in England, Wales and Northern Ireland
• Relate has a work-force of 2,000 people nationwide
• Relate’s services extend beyond couple counselling to family counselling, counselling for young people, online counselling, sex therapy and relationship skills workshops
• Relate works in schools, primary care settings, prisons, and with local authorities on homelessness prevention services
• For more information and advice visit: www.relate.org.uk
Barbara Bloomfield is a Relate couples and family counsellor and Clinical Supervisor with 14 years of experience in the counselling field. Prior to this, Barbara was a journalist, BBC radio reporter and writer specialising in relationships and she is the author of several books and booklets.
